Feeling Even Better Today!

Maybe it was just a spell I was going through but yesterday was good and today I feel even better. Maybe it is the exercise and water I am drinking too. I still called my doctor today and talked to the nurse but she can't get me an earlier appointment. She got a little mouthy with me too since I couldn't come in the days and times she had. So when I go to see my doctor on the 22nd I am telling her about her nurse's attitude with me. I don't appreciate someone getting smart with me and sighing in my ear because I couldn't take the days and times she offered me. Not my fault I don't have my own transportation right now. I have bills that have to be paid before I can afford a car so we have to rely on my parents right now. It sucks, but it's life. Oh well we will hopefully get a car soon enough.

Went for a walk today with my stepson. We walked a mile up and a mile back home. I have been drinking more water and although I am going to the bathroom more, I feel great for now. Maybe it was true what I read on a blog one day about drinking water and exercising helping with anxiety and depression.

Now I have to put the laundry away and then do my back exercises. I didn't work much on titling today because we were gone most of the day and then I came home and washed the dishes and went for a walk. It's ok to take at least one day off every once in while. I have a good pay coming tomorrow so the bills will be paid this week. :)

Feeling Better Today

Today I felt good enough to make $50 in Titling! I am feeling better than I have all weekend. I have been drinking more water and exercising so I think that may be what helped me. I am going to continue to drink more water and exercise to see if it keeps helping me. I am still calling my doctor tomorrow because I think my meds still need changed. At least I was able to work and now I feel like writing a Hub for Hubpages. :) Back to work and then bedtime.

Still Feeling Bad Today

I'm still feeling bad today. I called my doctor yesterday and told them what was going on with me and that I needed an earlier appointment. They said they needed to have the nurse call me back. Well they didn't call me until I went to my moms and my stepson called there to tell me but I was already on my way home. My mom called on the cell phone to tell me they called and by the time I called them back, they were gone. Someone needs to do something for me soon. All I feel like doing is screaming and crying. Everything is bothering me more than it should. I can't enjoy anything. I had to force myself to work today and I am still not done working, just taking a break. Well just had to get this off my chest. Back to forcing myself to work again.

Meds Definitely Not Working

I figured out my problem last night as I was sitting here trying to figure out why I don't enjoy my work anymore. I used to get up at 6AM and start work so I could get everything done. I would be excited to start work for the day and would put a pot of coffee on and start working. See, I have one of the easiest jobs there is, titling for Demand Studios and I used to enjoy it. At first I thought I was burnout on it from doing it every day and that still may be part of my problem. However, I can't even get myself to write articles like I used to and I remember feeling this way before I started taking anti-depressants. So the depression is back in full force. I have no appetite and have to force myself to eat. I have to force myself to work and I have to even force myself to write in these blogs I have. So I am going to call my doctor here in a little bit and tell them I need an earlier appointment to get something done with my meds. I can't live like this. All I want to do is sleep and I can't afford to sleep all day long. I just hate life right now and want to run away.

Yesterday I was irritated bad and then it turned into being depressed. I feel like I shouldn't have been born because, really, what is so good about my life. Yeah I have a good job or jobs you might want to say. But I can't even enjoy those jobs anymore. I want to run away to Florida where no one knows me and I din't know anyone and where it is warm all the time. I just want to run away and hide because I can't go through this depression again.

Irritated Today

My meds must not be working very well anymore because I feel so irritated today. I have to work too and luckily I don't have to write anything right now just title. Of course that job in itself will irritate me because it can get boring after a while. Read my blog post here where I say I am Thankful but Burnout and you will know what I mean. I guess I just need to change it up every once in a while to make things easier and more fun for myself. I don't think anything will help me today though it does help to write my feelings out. This is a short post today because I am too irritated to write much. Better get to work for a while.

Much Better Today

I am feeling much better today than I was yesterday. I was having such a high anxiety day yesterday it was terrible. I am finally able to concentrate on work and I even got a new job. I am now a Mahalo Guru! Mahalo Guru's answer questions and earn $1 an answer. We also get a bonus if we receive best answer. I decided to try answering some questions last night after I started feeling better and it is so much fun. I answered 3 questions before I went to bed. I am still a little slow at it because I just got started but I am sure I will get faster. Also, I woke up to a nice email this morning telling me how good my answers were and letting me know I can answer as many as I want. See, your first 10 answers are on a trial basis. I did 3 last night and was going to do 7 more today to get my first 10 in to get approved to answer as many as I want. They approved me to work full time that fast! So today I plan on doing at least 10 or 20 answers after my other work is done or I might do a few here and there in between work.

The thing about being a Mahalo Guru is that your answer has to be at least 125 words long and you have to provide sources and inlinks. I am not going to explain the inlinks right now but if anyone applies and needs help with the inlinks, just leave a comment here with your email address and I will be happy to help. Here is the link to apply:

Mahalo Guru

If you apply, good luck! Back to work I go! :)

High Anxiety Day

Today is a very high anxiety day for me. I took my meds so I don't know why I am feeling like this but I feel like something bad is going to happen and I can't shake the feeling of doom coming upon me. I hate feeling like this! I have been doing good until today. Either my doctor needs to adjust my meds again or I need a new doctor that will listen to me and help me for once. I am so tired of feeling like this. I probably sound like I am whining but it helps to write it out even if no one reads this.

I feel paranoid, depressed and scared and so tired of feeling like this. I am having trouble concentrating on work and I really need the money for bills right now. I have to force myself to work and I hate when I have to do that.

Time for me to stop whining and procrastinating and chill out. Gotta get to work and try to make this a productive day.