It has been a long time since I have posted here or in any of my other blogs. So here is why. I lost my health insurance so I couldn't get my anti-depressants anymore. I was off of them for 6 months because I could not afford them. I woke up every morning wishing I hadn't woken up. I had to force myself to eat and only ended up eating twice a day or less. I cried for no reason or blew up on my husband for no reason. I existed is all I did.
I haven't written an article in over a year and haven't posted in any of my blogs since April. I blamed it on the blog challenges I was signed up for and said it was too much pressure when in truth, I just was starting to not care anymore about anything. Some days I woke up numb and just sat here and stared out the window while I forced myself to title for Demand Studios. Yeah, with such an easy job as titling, I didn't even want to do that anymore and had to force myself to work. I didn't care about anything including myself.
One night was so bad that my husband had some sleeping pills his doctor gave him. I thought about taking them all and hoping I died. That was when I knew I had to do something. So I called my doctor the next day and begged them to give me samples at least. They said they couldn't do anything for me until I saw the doctor. I got into a fight with the nurse because I told her I couldn't afford to see the doctor. I cussed her out and handed the phone to my husband. My husband talked to her and got everything straightened out. They decided to help me and approved me for 100% financial discount. I was able to go in and see my doctor and sign up for free medication through their pharmacy. I was given free samples and generic prescriptions that only cost me $14 altogether until I get the free medications. I have been back on them for two weeks and am feeling so much better. I now have an appetite again. As a matter of fact, I don't want to stop eating. I had lost 31 pounds since I was off my medication and now I will probably gain it back if I don't do something to prevent it. I now wake up and get right out of bed. I now care for myself and do not cry or fight with my husband for no reason anymore.
Yes, I was a mess. If you are on any kind of anti-depressants and have something happen where you lose your medical help, call your doctor and see if they will help. Don't be like me and go without for so long. I was close to suicide because of it.
Now I am back to posting in my blogs, and don't have to force myself to title and I even want to get back into writing again. Life is better now! :)
