Yesterday was a horrible day for me. I drug my butt around all day trying to get things done. The result, I did dishes, and wrote two blog posts and two articles. Not a very productive day to say the least. I also felt very worthless and was even having suicidal thoughts. It was a long and bad day and I couldn't wait for it to be over.
So today I woke up feeling energized and really good about myself. I couldn't figure out why I was feeling so different than yesterday. Then it hit me, I am having a manic episode. I am on a manic high right now! The reason for these mood swings is because I am Bipolar and I ran out of my medicine and although they are due now and I took them right, I can't get a ride to the pharmacy to get them until Thursday. So I have two more days of not knowing how I am going to feel when I wake up. I hate it!
On the bright side of all of this, I wrote two articles for Associated Content and three articles for Demand Studios today. Plus I just finished one blog post on my main blog and am writing this one now. Plus I am going to write on another one of my blogs. I am a writing fool today and even though I love the energy, I do not like how I got it. I hate Bipolar disorder.
So now I can't stop writing, which is a good thing. And I need to use up all of this energy before it runs out. I hope I get some sleep tonight.
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Never, Ever Stop Taking Medication Suddenly
Bi polar disorder is no joke. It can make you feel really low one minute and really up and happy the next. There are medications your doctor will prescribe you if you are diagnosed with Bi Polar disorder that will help elevate your moods. With Bi Polar disorder your moods will fluctuate. One minute you can feel like you are Queen of the freaking world and all of a sudden you come crashing down to feel like you are worthless. This was how I felt before meds. I struggled with different medications until I found the right one. The only problem is it seems like my body gets used to the meds after so long and they quit working. Then I have to try something else and I have to go through it all over again. It is pure hell!
I was on Seroquel, Zoloft, and Klonopin for two years until I got tired of being tired all the time from the Seroquel. I quit taking it all of a sudden and here is what happened:
Why You Should Never Stop Taking Medication
If you read that you will know I became suicidal when I quit taking the Seroquel. The Zoloft wasn't working for me on it's own. I finally had a talk with my doctor and she put me on Abilify with the Seroquel and the Klonopin and they are working fine together.
Please, if you are on meds for depression, Bi Polar, or any other mental disease, never, ever stop taking your medication without first speaking to your doctor. If you read the blog post from the link above, you will understand why.
I was on Seroquel, Zoloft, and Klonopin for two years until I got tired of being tired all the time from the Seroquel. I quit taking it all of a sudden and here is what happened:
Why You Should Never Stop Taking Medication
If you read that you will know I became suicidal when I quit taking the Seroquel. The Zoloft wasn't working for me on it's own. I finally had a talk with my doctor and she put me on Abilify with the Seroquel and the Klonopin and they are working fine together.
Please, if you are on meds for depression, Bi Polar, or any other mental disease, never, ever stop taking your medication without first speaking to your doctor. If you read the blog post from the link above, you will understand why.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Alternative remedies for depression
I know I haven't posted in a while but lately I am finding it harder and harder to keep up with any of my writing. I just recently started writing more for AC and last night I wrote a post in my main blog. I have so much on my mind that I am having a hard time concentrating on anything. Anyway I recently write an article for Associated Content about alternative remedies for depression and thought I would post the link here for those who want to read it.
This article will help those who can't afford prescription drugs or don't want to take prescription drugs. Please read it and leave me a comment either here or on my AC page. Here is the link to my article:
Alternative Remedies for Depression
Take a look at my other articles as well if you like. Here is the link to my CP page where the rest of them are. Subscribe if you want because I have more articles on the way.
My CP page
I hope you enjoy them.
If you would like to sign up for Associated Content and get paid to write articles then go to the link below.
Join Associated Content
This article will help those who can't afford prescription drugs or don't want to take prescription drugs. Please read it and leave me a comment either here or on my AC page. Here is the link to my article:
Alternative Remedies for Depression
Take a look at my other articles as well if you like. Here is the link to my CP page where the rest of them are. Subscribe if you want because I have more articles on the way.
My CP page
I hope you enjoy them.
If you would like to sign up for Associated Content and get paid to write articles then go to the link below.
Join Associated Content
Monday, July 30, 2007
Sorry about not posting lately
Just want to say real quick that the last post I wrote was a review on a website because in exchange for it I will receive free advertising from a blog directory. The blog directory is Blog Skinny.
Anyway on with what I wanted to say. I exchanged messages with someone from Mylot that has subscribed to this blog and this person is having a terrible time with depression and anxiety. Her anxiety is so bad that she is too afraid to leave her house long enough to go to the doctors and get the help she needs. If she is reading this I urge you to please try to at least leave your house long enough to get the help you need. I used to be just like this. My anxiety was so bad that I was afraid to leave the house just to go tot he doctors but I realized I couldn't live like this forever and I forced myself to go. And I am so glad I did because now I am on the right medication that controls the panic attacks so I am able to go shopping, visit my in-laws, and go to the doctors. I even want my husband to take me to the fair next month and there will be a lot of people there but I think I can do it. So if anyone is going through this same thing you need to get help now!! If not you will be like this for the rest of your life and how can you live life if you don't get the help you need? How can you live life if you're too afraid to go anywhere.
So please go get on medication and talk to a counselour because once you are on the medication that is right for you, you will be glad you did. My husband and I went to visit my mom the other day and she said that my aunt and cousin, who is older than me, was there visiting. My cousin is having this same problem. She has it so bad that she hardly said a word to my mom and it was only my mom, my aunt and her there. I'm telling you that is way worse than I was because I was ok as long as there was only a few people in the room but she started having a panic attack when it was just the 3 of them in the room. I told my mom that she needs to tell her what I went through and that I am on such good medication now that I am getting better and better everyday. I promised myself that I wouldn't live like my dad's family and I won't. I have gotten the help I need and I feel so much better with the medication. I am taking Seroquel and Zoloft and it is working wonders for me. So please take my advice and do this for yourself.
Tomorrow I will post some links to a few articles I wrote for Associated Content that might be of help to anyone with depression and Bi-Polar.
Check out my other blogs:
My Highly Recommended Business Opportunities
Entertain Me
Anyway on with what I wanted to say. I exchanged messages with someone from Mylot that has subscribed to this blog and this person is having a terrible time with depression and anxiety. Her anxiety is so bad that she is too afraid to leave her house long enough to go to the doctors and get the help she needs. If she is reading this I urge you to please try to at least leave your house long enough to get the help you need. I used to be just like this. My anxiety was so bad that I was afraid to leave the house just to go tot he doctors but I realized I couldn't live like this forever and I forced myself to go. And I am so glad I did because now I am on the right medication that controls the panic attacks so I am able to go shopping, visit my in-laws, and go to the doctors. I even want my husband to take me to the fair next month and there will be a lot of people there but I think I can do it. So if anyone is going through this same thing you need to get help now!! If not you will be like this for the rest of your life and how can you live life if you don't get the help you need? How can you live life if you're too afraid to go anywhere.
So please go get on medication and talk to a counselour because once you are on the medication that is right for you, you will be glad you did. My husband and I went to visit my mom the other day and she said that my aunt and cousin, who is older than me, was there visiting. My cousin is having this same problem. She has it so bad that she hardly said a word to my mom and it was only my mom, my aunt and her there. I'm telling you that is way worse than I was because I was ok as long as there was only a few people in the room but she started having a panic attack when it was just the 3 of them in the room. I told my mom that she needs to tell her what I went through and that I am on such good medication now that I am getting better and better everyday. I promised myself that I wouldn't live like my dad's family and I won't. I have gotten the help I need and I feel so much better with the medication. I am taking Seroquel and Zoloft and it is working wonders for me. So please take my advice and do this for yourself.
Tomorrow I will post some links to a few articles I wrote for Associated Content that might be of help to anyone with depression and Bi-Polar.
Check out my other blogs:
My Highly Recommended Business Opportunities
Entertain Me
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Maybe the Zoloft is finally working
I have had a pretty good weekend. I know the seroqoul is working and I think the Zoloft is working finally. I have only been on it for a couple of weeks. I have been pretty busy all weekend and haven't had time to get things done online but I'm trying to get caught up with all of my blogs. Tomorrow I hope I will have time to start my new blog. It will be a blog just for other blog reviews. I have a whole lot of other blogs bookmarked so I will be doing reviews of them and giving some link love to my fellow bloggers. I did start this on my blogchex blog but I don't think any of the "pay you to blog" sites accept blogchex blogs so I am starting it with blogger.
Anyway I have been feeling better lately and I will keep posting about how I'm doing on this medication. Here is something interesting my counselour told me the other day. It seems that I am not only Bi-Polar but I also have Social Phobia, Agoraphobia, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Panic Disorder. I guess I'm totally messed up in the head. I get this from my dad's side of the family because my grandfather has been in a mental institution since my dad was 7 and now my dad is 54, my dad's brother is agoraphobic, 2 of his sisters are mentally retarded and 2 of them have social anxiety disorder or if you want to call it social phobia it is the same thing. There is one big difference with me and them though; I have gotten the help I needed so desperately and am overcoming it. I am getting through it. I still can't go to social events and I still shake when I go grocery shopping but I am slowly trying to be normal whatever that may be. My dad has some big issues mentally and emotionally and refuses to get help. I feel so bad for him because I know what he is going through but he won't get help. No matter how many times I tell him that he will feel better on medication and that the place I go to will give him free samples and won't charge him for going there until he gets health insurance he still won't do it. There was a time that I thought my husband and I had him talked into it but no go and I don't think he will ever get the help he needs. It saddens me because I know that he is screaming inside his own head and he is so unhappy but you can't force someone to get help if they don't want it. I feel so bad for my dad but there is nothing I can do about it except be there for him and listen to him when he goes on and on about his job or something else he complains about. As much as he drives us all nuts with his constant ramblings he is still my father and I love him and will always be here for him no matter what. Even though my dad would rather talk to my husband and he doesn't show me that he loves me I still love him and I always will. I can't even think about when the time comes for my parents to die. It is something that I just can't think about because it will drive me deeper into the insanity that I am already in. I love them and have always been close to them and can't think about life without them. I still don't cuss around them and I don't smoke around my father. My mom doesn't mind and I am going to be 27 this month but sometimes I still feel like a child when I'm around them. Sometimes I want to go climb on my dad's lap like I did when I was a little girl and sometimes I want to grab my mom and kiss her and hug her as much as I can. I know I could kiss them and hug them as much as I can but I don't want to make them feel awkward because I'm an adult. Or maybe I will feel awkward instead of them.
Today is my brothers birthday. If he was still alive today he would be turning 37. He died when he was 22. Him and his wife were getting a divorce because he found out she was cheating on him with one of his so called friends. He asked her for a divorce but she didn't want one. She instead had him killed by his so called friend that she was cheating with. Of course we all believe and always will believe that she is the the one who did the actual shooting. We think that her boyfriend just took the blame for her. Now her boyfriend is dead and she is still walking free. Her boyfriend killed himself a few years ago. We think maybe he couldn't live with the guilt anymore. I don't know but if my brother would have never met her he would be living a happy life today. He was an alcoholic and drug addict back then but right before he was killed he was trying to get his life straightened out. He was planning on going to art school. He was a talented artist and he also wrote poems. I got his poetic side but I can only write poems when I'm depressed. My brother was the same way. You could be totally depressed and all you had to do was call him up and he would make you laugh until your sides hurt. He was a great big brother. I was 12 when he died. It would have been nice to get to know him as an adult. This is for you Tom; Happy Birthday. We love you and miss you with all our hearts and souls. I will see you one day on the other side.
My other blogs:
http://cwilson26.blogspot.com
http://cwilson26-entertainment.blogspot.com
Anyway I have been feeling better lately and I will keep posting about how I'm doing on this medication. Here is something interesting my counselour told me the other day. It seems that I am not only Bi-Polar but I also have Social Phobia, Agoraphobia, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and Panic Disorder. I guess I'm totally messed up in the head. I get this from my dad's side of the family because my grandfather has been in a mental institution since my dad was 7 and now my dad is 54, my dad's brother is agoraphobic, 2 of his sisters are mentally retarded and 2 of them have social anxiety disorder or if you want to call it social phobia it is the same thing. There is one big difference with me and them though; I have gotten the help I needed so desperately and am overcoming it. I am getting through it. I still can't go to social events and I still shake when I go grocery shopping but I am slowly trying to be normal whatever that may be. My dad has some big issues mentally and emotionally and refuses to get help. I feel so bad for him because I know what he is going through but he won't get help. No matter how many times I tell him that he will feel better on medication and that the place I go to will give him free samples and won't charge him for going there until he gets health insurance he still won't do it. There was a time that I thought my husband and I had him talked into it but no go and I don't think he will ever get the help he needs. It saddens me because I know that he is screaming inside his own head and he is so unhappy but you can't force someone to get help if they don't want it. I feel so bad for my dad but there is nothing I can do about it except be there for him and listen to him when he goes on and on about his job or something else he complains about. As much as he drives us all nuts with his constant ramblings he is still my father and I love him and will always be here for him no matter what. Even though my dad would rather talk to my husband and he doesn't show me that he loves me I still love him and I always will. I can't even think about when the time comes for my parents to die. It is something that I just can't think about because it will drive me deeper into the insanity that I am already in. I love them and have always been close to them and can't think about life without them. I still don't cuss around them and I don't smoke around my father. My mom doesn't mind and I am going to be 27 this month but sometimes I still feel like a child when I'm around them. Sometimes I want to go climb on my dad's lap like I did when I was a little girl and sometimes I want to grab my mom and kiss her and hug her as much as I can. I know I could kiss them and hug them as much as I can but I don't want to make them feel awkward because I'm an adult. Or maybe I will feel awkward instead of them.
Today is my brothers birthday. If he was still alive today he would be turning 37. He died when he was 22. Him and his wife were getting a divorce because he found out she was cheating on him with one of his so called friends. He asked her for a divorce but she didn't want one. She instead had him killed by his so called friend that she was cheating with. Of course we all believe and always will believe that she is the the one who did the actual shooting. We think that her boyfriend just took the blame for her. Now her boyfriend is dead and she is still walking free. Her boyfriend killed himself a few years ago. We think maybe he couldn't live with the guilt anymore. I don't know but if my brother would have never met her he would be living a happy life today. He was an alcoholic and drug addict back then but right before he was killed he was trying to get his life straightened out. He was planning on going to art school. He was a talented artist and he also wrote poems. I got his poetic side but I can only write poems when I'm depressed. My brother was the same way. You could be totally depressed and all you had to do was call him up and he would make you laugh until your sides hurt. He was a great big brother. I was 12 when he died. It would have been nice to get to know him as an adult. This is for you Tom; Happy Birthday. We love you and miss you with all our hearts and souls. I will see you one day on the other side.
My other blogs:
http://cwilson26.blogspot.com
http://cwilson26-entertainment.blogspot.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)